Thursday, February 12, 2009

The World's Best Passenger Complaint Letter?

This letter, complete with photos of the offending dishes offered, has been circulating the Internet. It's written in the best tongue-in-cheek British style, and the writer achieves his results from unveiling his meal like a three-act play while addressing chatty and cheeky comments to "Richard." That would be Sir Richard Branson, the big boss of Virgin Airways, voted the "most admired brand" by the UK public, at least until this letter was published.

Is is the best passenger complaint lever ever? I doubt that, and it drifts a bit toward the end as the author feels the need to complain about the lousy video as well, but it's still a gem of its kind. A couple of my favorite excerpts as the writer painstakingly unveils each stage of his loathsome repasts, complete with photos:

Look at this Richard. Just look at it...

"I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?
I was raised strictly but neatly by my parents and if they knew I had started desert before the main course, a sponge shaft would be the least of my worries. So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what’s on offer.

I’ll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it’s Christmas morning and you’re sat their with your final present to open. It’s a big one, and you know what it is. It’s that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.

Only you open the present and it’s not in there. It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing. That’s how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this...

It turns out the author is a 29-year-old ad agency employee who's had a hand in producing funny TV commercials. He's now been invited to the catering headquarters to be a food taster as the airline's PR department desperately tries to play catch-up. They tend to run cheeky ads themselves, so maybe they had this coming.

Worth a read if you enjoy British humor...

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